Embracing Vulnerability with Lauren Casteel

What if the key to transformative leadership lies in embracing vulnerability and emotional honesty? Join us in a thought-provoking conversation with Lauren Casteel, CEO and President of the Women's Foundation of Colorado, as we uncover the foundation's mission to drive gender, racial and economic equity through various impactful community initiatives. Lauren shares her valuable insights on the significance of hiring talented teams and the essential role of trust and belief in supporting women and girls across Colorado. 

Looking at the profound connection between vulnerability and leadership, exploring how to celebrate Black joy, and addressing the often-lonely path of leadership are all to come in this episode of Unstoppable @ Craig. Join us in this enriching episode as we create positive ripples in the world through acknowledgment and appreciation.

For more information, transcriptions and behind-the-scene photos, visit https://craighospital.org/unstoppable

Craig Hospital is a nationally recognized neurorehabilitation hospital and research center specialized in the care of individuals who have sustained a spinal cord injury (SCI) and/or a brain injury (BI). Located in Denver, Colorado, Craig Hospital is an independent, not-for-profit, 93-bed national center of excellence that has treated thousands of people with SCI and BI since 1956. Learn more: https://craighospital.org

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:02

Welcome to Unstoppable at Craig, where we pull back the curtain on what makes healthy workplace cultures click and what happens when people are empowered to expand the boundaries of what is possible. We'll explore the perspectives of employees and leaders who have carte blanche to speak their truths, tell their stories and unlock uncommon ways of approaching challenges. I am Dr Jandell Allen Allen Davis, ceo and President of Craig Hospital, a world-renowned rehabilitation hospital that exclusively specializes in the neurorehabilitation and research of patients with spinal cord and brain injury. Join me as we learn from people who love what they do and what happens when fear doesn't stifle innovation. There are people in our lives and certainly I'll be selfish and say people in my life who I've looked up to for years and years, who view me as friend and colleague, and there are those moments which we should be saying way more before the eulogy, that we have the opportunity just to say thank you and that it matters that I get to stand in your light. And today, on our podcast, I have the opportunity to sit with and have a wonderful conversation with a friend and a mentor and someone who I admire but who I also see eye to eye as a peer Lauren Castile, who is the CEO and president of the Women's Foundation of Colorado, and we're going to have a grand hour together.

Speaker 1 1:32

Who knows where this thing will go, but we've got a lot to talk about, through the lens of both leadership and service is the way to put it.

Speaker 1 1:40

And one of the things that we talked about in prep for this was this little bit maybe repelling from the notion of leader or the mythical leader, which neither of us, I will proudly say, are, but it can be a really uncomfortable title to hold, whatever titles they put on us, because none of it ends up on our tombstones. It's really about the work we do, and I was thinking about the work that the Women's Foundation of Colorado does, and you're going to tell us a little bit about that in a minute, but I think it's one of those examples of that Margaret Mead phrase that never doubt that a small group of concerned, caring citizens can change the world Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has and that part of this journey that we're on in leadership or in service is actually a constellation of several small things that we mostly have the ability to influence, not control. So I want to welcome you, lauren, with that by way of introduction.

Speaker 2 2:40

I'd love for you just to talk a little bit to begin with about what is the work of the Women's Foundation of Colorado and why we are able to you know in the times that might be you know, the best of times or the worst of times that we can be authentic with each other and transparent, that we can seek mutual support or guidance, ask questions and get reflections. So I am profoundly grateful to have you in my life.

Speaker 2 3:29

I also have to say and I know we'll talk about this later was that I become very uncomfortable with, you know, people talking about standing in my light or whatever, because I think leadership is far more complicated than that.

Speaker 1 3:46

Yeah, it's far more complicated.

Speaker 2 3:48

So I kind of repel from that a little bit. But let's talk about the Women's Foundation of Colorado. That's easy for me. I could not think of a way that I will come to the sort of you know last stages of my career. I just turned 70. I've led three foundations over the years, been a senior at the Denver Foundation when you were on the board which is when we first met.

Speaker 2 4:16

And the Women's Foundation of Colorado really is the culmination of so many of the people that I've known, the values that I believe in. So we are the only community foundation which means we are community funded in the state of Colorado that is focused on gender, racial and economic equity. We believe deeply in our vision that all women and girls in the state of Colorado should prosper and we do that by, you know, catalyzing community to advance and accelerate economic opportunities for Colorado women and their families. I have an incredible team and an incredible board. One thing that leaders should do is hire people who are smarter than they are.

Speaker 1 5:08

Oh man.

Speaker 2 5:12

I know and you know who fill our gaps in some way or another and certainly my team does that whether it's in programs or communications or marketing or finance, whatever it may be. But we are all community builders and we're all fundraisers. And in terms of community we use a variety of strategies. So there's our grant making. I'm thrilled to say that through what we call WinCom, women with income thrive and therefore the state of Colorado thrives. We have granted more than $2.8 million in three years to 11 direct service organizations and six public policy partners. Our Women and Girls of Color Fund in three years has had more than 80 grantees and we've given 1.8 million. Then we hold donor-advised funds who also give millions of dollars through those funds as well. But that means that we're working on much like Craig Hospital at that deep, individual level through direct service, nonprofits and partners. But we also work on systems change so that we can affect all 2.8 million women in the state of Colorado Might be 2.85. Anyway, we're at least half of the population.

Speaker 1 6:41

Well, you know, what's really cool about that last statement you made is that you recognize, through the work and the mission of the foundation, that this is a grassroots and a grass tops both structure that you've set up, but also approach. That's going to be essential if we're really going to get sustained change.

Speaker 1 6:59

It's not just about direct services, which are critical, just to give people, in this case women and girls, the opportunity to see beyond some of the more basic needs, to dream and to maybe step into some of their aspirational hopes for both their kids and women, but also we got to be doing the systemic work at the same time, the other thing that I'd like to highlight trust for us, is a key value, and we have many values, you know, including learning and, similarly, belief in all women.

Speaker 2 7:32

And we have a direct cash assistance component of our WinCom grant-making program where, through our nonprofit partners, where, through our nonprofit partners, they work with their constituents and help to identify Oftentimes it might be a car repair or even, as I'm thinking here, perhaps help with an adaptation, a woman with a disability that supports her ability to work, or it could be housing. We're living in challenging economic times.

Speaker 2 8:06

There's no question for many, many, many people around the country and around the world. But we also know that women of color in particular oftentimes are more vulnerable than others due to some of those systemic and historic barriers and policies that have existed.

Speaker 1 8:31

Just as a reminder for those who are listening, the real beauty of being able to do this is that I have the opportunity to talk to people who, however they choose to wear the mantle, comfortably or uncomfortably, who are leaders doing great work in community. And what's really cool about what you just said is it's not done by one. You've referenced your fabulous team, who, absolutely we ought to all be surrounded by, people who not just fill our gaps but bring skills and things that we have no ability to even over a lifetime gain. That's why we're so much stronger when there's more of us together working towards a common goal. But the other is you talked about other entities, other organizations, so that leveraging that's about leverage, it seems to me leveraging what the good you can do in the world, but also lifting up those other organizations to do their great work, whether it's in housing. That's a real important thing to remember. We don't have to do it all. Well, I'm going to shift gears a little bit and I'm going to out you on something.

Speaker 2 9:32

Oh no, isn't that against the rules? No, no, did I give you permission to do this?

Speaker 1 9:38

No, you didn't, but I'm going to take it any other way.

Speaker 1 9:42

When we were doing our prep, you said that this whole idea of leader is an uncomfortable thing we own, and in fact it's funny because this morning I don't know why I was thinking about it while getting dressed is about these titles, and I find myself saying, and I do say, I'm not all that, I'm just Jandell, I'm only as good as the people around me.

Exploring Vulnerability and Liberatory Leadership

Speaker 1 10:03

I'm only as good as the people around me, and what my job is to do is to make sure that we are creating the kind of environments as servant leaders because I think that's I like serve better than lead anyway as a term that allows them to bring their best and, in particular, their discretionary effort, which we don't have nearly enough of being brought into the workplace these days, looking at any one of a number of surveys. And so one of the things we talked about in that sort of icky place of leader I mean, the reality is that none of us are perfect as humans, let alone in these roles of servant leadership, and we talked a lot about this Renee Brown's seminal work, where she put this notion of vulnerability on the map in a big way with her TED Talk from a few years ago and that vulnerability is actually a courageous act. I'd love to hear you just sort of riff on vulnerability from the perspective of your chair and what you do.

Speaker 2 11:01

I am kind of a tender human which doesn't always align with the notion of leadership. I remember a video a long time ago that I saw where someone at a concert goes out on the grass and starts dancing and one can consider them to be the leader. But that movement didn't really begin until a second person began to dance. You know, if just one person were out there dancing on the grass, they just would have been one person dancing out there on the grass. Good on them, that's great, they're having a great time. But when the second person joined, then that's when the movement actually began.

Speaker 2 11:46

And that video also captures the vulnerability, I believe, of stepping out there in some way. And there's risk. There's risk that you could find yourself out there alone and there's also the fact that one could continue to feel alone. I'm a crier. It can make people uncomfortable sometimes because I cry when I feel something deeply, whatever it may be, when there's some deep internal truth. It can be joy, it can be sadness, it can be excitement, it can be, you know, a kernel of rage, it can be something that's just a deep truth. So I'm a crier as a woman. That can be perceived as a fragility of some sort, you know, and I try to check it, but it's there, it's definitely there, I think, vulnerability to say I don't know.

Speaker 2 12:52

I'm learning you know how, learning to be able to say not only I messed up, I'm sorry, and I think this is a journey, I think this is a journey, I think this is a journey, but I messed up, I'm sorry, and this is why, and this is how that can be really hard work, to really look internally and to ask oneself what did I miss, what didn't I hear, what was that? And that's not just those basic mistakes. Lord knows. I have made many a mistake over my life. You know, you try something and you go yep. Well that didn't work.

Speaker 2 13:41

And in philanthropy. That's a part of what philanthropy is about is that we are the nation's innovation tool. You know we are the nation's risk taker in some way. Our direct cash assistance is an innovation and we're looking to move that into larger policy as well, but stepping out. So there are many instances where an idea may or may not have come to fruition, but there's nothing lost in having given it a sincere try. But I think vulnerability is tough and it's hard for us to have. You know, the word safe spaces comes up a lot these days. You know, is it safe space? Is it brave space? Is it controlled space? I don't know. I wrestle with that, with all of those kinds of things.

Speaker 1 14:44

I had a male mentor of mine who was a peer when I was still at Kaiser Permanente as an executive, who said if you don't cry once a day, something's wrong. Something ought to be so cool from a joyous or a joyful perspective, where it brings you to your knees. It doesn't have to be all God knows. It can't be all those all in one day, holy mount. We'd be a mess by the end of the day.

Speaker 2 15:06

But if there isn't, something oh, come on, haven't you had a mess?

Speaker 1 15:08

day. Oh, I've had plenty of mess days, but not where I'm, I hope, not going from joy to pain and all in between. But there's something so human about that and it can make people uncomfortable. But you also mentioned admitting mistakes but taking risks and trying things and as you're talking, I thought don't you think all that's liberating for the teams and the people around you?

Speaker 2 15:31

It is, I think, in many, many ways, and sometimes it's I don't know where this is going. I think that's the part that can be a little anxiety. It's one thing to come up with ideas that are innovative and you've got a process and a procedure and you know research and tried and true techniques that support it's another time to it's another thing to just say, hmm, I have no idea, but this feels right. It feels right. It's been informed by informal outlets, intuition perhaps at some point, but oftentimes by community, by a conversation, sitting in community and sharing a meal with others and having them share deep truths and stories. One of the things that I've learned over the years is that our human experiences may or may not be that different.

Speaker 2 16:43

My daughter, whom you know, who's a painter and she just did a painting and it's of daffodils, yellow daffodils that were, you know, coming up in her garden and they're in this vase and one or two of them are dying. They have begun to droop, they're turning dark, the others are standing still and she calls it. The title of it is grief dot, spring dot. And we all have grief and we all have spring.

Speaker 2 17:15

Some of us have better opportunities to heal from the grief and resources and access, because it's about opportunities and resources and access and communities. Loneliness is something that has been permeating our communities, especially exacerbated by the pandemic, but I think also just by technology. You know the isolation that we feel. Maybe in the past two or three months, a couple of friends, both of whom happen to be women of color one black and one Latina who are both community leaders, sat either at my dining room table where I had ordered food online. I don't cook, but I set a nice table, cried right and cried from the weight. They're doing incredible work. That's one of the reasons why we have the Women and Girls of Color Fund. You use the word liberation. Liberatory leadership is about self-care. It's about supporting the leader. It's about helping them find whatever it may be. You know. It can be a small, non-traditional yoga group. It can be therapy, you know. I'm a firm believer in that as well, but we all have different tools.

Speaker 1 18:47

You know the story you just told. We also need those places where we can let it all hang out, the safe spaces, the sacred spaces, however you want to call it, where we can cry Because, depending on the mission, the work that you're undertaking, at any one point in time or in an epoch of time it gets hard and you don't have to have certainty. In fact, I'm reading this great book called Fluke. The premise is we control nothing, but we influence everything. And it's so hard sometimes, I think, to take that step back and just know I'm going to use a quilting.

Speaker 1 19:25

There's this beautiful tapestry or this beautiful fiber art quilt that I may be making and that one little piece is but a piece that comes together to create this whole thing, and without it it's less than it would have been with it as I'm doing the work and we're part of some big tapestry, I believe that's being woven and it's, to use the phrase, it's perfect imperfection with and without us being part of that, and so we're just sort of part of a big old story being told and I sometimes feel like it's not my job to see the entire story, but just a lot of it is just showing up, I think that's what was said I think somebody said that Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and don't attach to outcomes and letting go of outcomes.

Speaker 2 20:12

I'm really proud I identified outcomes. You know public policy. I didn't mention that. You know. Thanks to our work in equal pay you know the Equal Pay Act now the gender wage gap in Colorado is closing faster in the US and so people have. You know $2,900 more women do within their pockets and no one has suffered as a result of it. Right, it's not a win-lose, it's simply attaining that equality. But you know the truth. Sometimes finding the truth can be hard, so show up, pay attention. It's the truth of what you know in that moment, in the moment, in the moment, in that moment.

Speaker 2 21:02

There is no certainty there isn't, there isn't and in a vulnerability, you know, that adds an additional layer of I don't know, and what will the outcome be? Very, very best at that particular time, and draw upon, you know, the passion, the compassion, the humor, the style, the generosity, the kindness, the smarts of others.

Speaker 1 21:34

Oh, I was so glad to hear you say that. Oh, I am, and the we in it, that we can only, and it's all those things there's alchemy, and all of that that you just talked about yeah, and a lot of it is a fluke, Right.

Speaker 2 21:49

How many times have you said I didn't see that coming? Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:51

Right, but I'm glad it did. Or people will say, oh, thank you, thank you, it's like I do anything connected to you. You all made the magic, yes, the magic, you made the magic, and that's, I think, one of the it's interesting. We talked about vulnerability and I asked the question isn't that liberating for those we serve? Because if you can do it, and in ways that we may not fully realize, we're giving others the permission to do it, others the permission to do it, but also in that you're giving yourself the permission to do it again and again. I'm going to just divulge something around how vulnerability plays out for me.

Speaker 1 22:27

All the teams know it, my pits sweat.

Speaker 2 22:34

Is that why you always wear gorgeous jackets? I?

Speaker 1 22:37

go whoa, what's going on under here? And I said I was talking to one of our teams the other day about it and I said I'm going to let you all know. You all think I'm all that or whatever. I didn't quite say it that way, but however I said it, it was trying to respond to those moments that do make me look down, because people give me way more credit than I deserve about how a thing comes out. And I just told him. I said, oh, oh, my God, my pits sweat when I talk like this or when I really am going to put it all out there in a way that may just be even giving people.

Speaker 1 23:10

Most of it's just heaping praise on people and gratitude and being excited about a thing, and we were on a Zoom and the number of heads around the room that nodded was amazing.

Speaker 2 23:20

So all of a sudden, there's nothing unique.

Speaker 1 23:22

I guess this is a human thing, and so that's one of those even signs that I know I'm in a really important place. And so with that, I'd love just to talk about how do you learn and grow? I mean, you've had, I think, there's these really cool ways we repot ourselves over our life. I mean, who would have ever seen an OBGYN who wanted to be a doctor since a little kid sitting here in this amazing place serving this mission? So there's this repotting that happens over a career or a life, which I think is an important thing for younger people who probably show up in your office and want to know how'd you do it. Can you mentor me those sorts of things? Talk a little bit about learning and growth.

Speaker 2 24:07

Well, I've never had a five-year plan or a master plan of any sort. And my dream as a child? My father's family. We used to spend summers in Kentucky with my grandparents. My dream was to be a jockey. People can't see me now, grandparents. My dream was to be a jockey. People can't see me now, but for obvious reasons, by the time I was eight or 10, I was a little too big to be a jockey. A little tall. I'm a little tall for that.

Speaker 2 24:34

But I've had many dreams. There's a film coming out about Shirley Chisholm. At one time, you know, I really wanted to be in Congress or something. And then I had to repot myself as a result of a series of traumas. To be quite honest, a violent assault, three you know sequenced deaths. All of that within an 18-month period as I was graduating high school. One of those losses was my father, in a very dramatic and traumatic situation. But I went to college and I wasn't in either the right place or the right time and I ultimately flunked out second semester. My junior year, swarthmore used very fancy language and said that I had been disenrolled. But if I ever were going to write a book which I will or not I would title it Disenrolled. So I had to repot myself again and in this moment in time where I felt as though I was sort of like slinking away, you know, from a situation that I'd been unable to handle we didn't talk about trauma in 1972 or mental health- or depression.

Speaker 2 25:52

None of those words existed I had, you know, trying to find resources or support. So I repotted myself in Colorado. So I repotted myself in Colorado and, thanks to a fluke, to use your word I ended up at the University of Colorado, denver, which revitalized me. And I was working at Channel 2 at the time and going to school at night and someone said to me Sharon Leventhal said to me who started Colorado Woman magazine? You know, they're looking for women and quote, unquote minorities in that time to change the window dressing on the sets of television. I ended up getting a job, thanks to Ben Martinez, in television and I started at the very bottom, ended up becoming a producer and an on-air host for several television shows and then went from there, all community-based, and then I began to see my thread, my soul's code.

Speaker 2 27:00

It was really about community. I still love horses, I still wish I had a little time as a jockey. But even in wanting Congress, even in wanting going to see Denver, I was looking for community. So I did these community-focused shows and then I moved into the Penny administration. I repotted myself from television and found myself in community as a part of that new staff. That breakthrough of the first mayor of color young mayor with the big vision.

Speaker 2 27:36

So those themes and values remain true and it was through there that I met Swanee Hunt and started in philanthropy, which, once again, I knew absolutely nothing about. So in each of those positions I was either a first or certainly an only as a black woman, but also had the opportunity to bring in mentors like Renelle DeMuse and Bertha Lynn when I was Channel 6. And Bev Martinez had given me that opportunity and Syl Morgan Smith. So you know, there are all these folks who believed in me more than I believed in myself and pushed me forward. And I would be, you know, dragging my fingernails, you know, on the floor like trying not to go the crazy things we tried and worked, you know.

Speaker 1 28:34

It's just amazing.

Speaker 2 28:35

It's crazy Federico and I were talking about I started the state of the city and I made it up, and now no one can, cannot do it, it's a thing.

Celebrating Black Joy and Resilience

Speaker 1 28:45

It's a thing you know what's fun and you know if there's, if there's something to learn in that. As you were talking, I was thinking, I had breakfast on Saturday morning with Dan Ritchie, who is just one of our mutual loves and one of the real leaders and pillars of this community.

Speaker 1 29:00

And then we took a walk, as is our thing, and looked at birds and we talked about I mentioned. You've repotted yourself so many times over a career and in each one of those repottings we're growing and we're learning. Whether we may be the reluctant leader or maybe the reluctant new person at PBS, like really me, I can't tell you, including this job, how many times I've said you want me to do that kind of thing. You know there may be some reluctance, not because you don't want to, but what can you bring? But we're a culmination, I believe, of all those experiences. And what's really cool about what you said is that through it, the one thread, that strong tie that bound you or binds you around the importance of community. I think it's an important thing for folks listening to figure out what is that thing, why are you here? And then, through the lens of why are you here, it kind of doesn't matter. Now you can't do neurosurgery without going to medical school, or you know obstetrics and gynecology.

Speaker 1 30:00

There are some facts there's nothing capricious about this, but I think that sometimes people think, well, there's this straight path in life and life is, if I think, and I've told young folks, if you sort of think, you're supposed to be over here and I'm for the listeners, I'm pointing to the right and you're so focused on that star.

Speaker 2 30:23

Our hands are just moving around all over the place.

Speaker 1 30:25

That's right that star that's over there and you're so focused on that star that you miss the opportunities through just being present and just showing up and doing your best to amass the kind of skills that one day you look back and say I don't know why. I know how to do that, but I picked it up somewhere along the way.

Speaker 1 30:43

Somewhere along the line. It's so important just to be present and not to be fearful of those opportunities for repotting because, exactly as you said it I've said that so many times there are people who could see stuff in me that I, to this day, can't see in myself.

Speaker 2 30:57

Well, you know, we did talk and I'm going to throw this back at you a little bit earlier about joy, yeah, and about, about black joy, which some people consider you know they'll be like, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 31:12

and I find myself thinking about lift every voice and sing till earth and heaven ring ring with the harmony yes and you know, it's about the grief in the spring and how we as a people have survived because of our capacity to find joy or gratitude and to celebrate and to create, whether it's, you know, jumping over a broom or music or dance. Having the both, and of the excruciating pain and the ancient tears of slavery has in fact, been a huge contributor to our sitting here, you and me, right now, in this moment.

Speaker 1 32:08

It's nothing that I take for granted. I do believe that phrase to those who much is given, much is expected, and I grew up in a family where, despite not a lot of money, my grandmother raised six kids alone. What I know of it and why this is such a beautiful opportunity to talk about, whatever it is as women, as African Americans, as Americans, as people we bring in service to organizations and community that we need that kind organizations and community that we need that kind.

Speaker 1 32:46

We need lots of diversity in terms of how we show up as leaders, but I think we're at a point in our history that, as a world, as a people, as a species that we need lots of different ways of approaching problems, and I think there's something about the ability of us, because of our unique history, to live in many sides of our heads at the same time that creates this thing called Black Joy. And a couple weeks ago I got a card from someone a friend, a colleague in community and I saw these words and I sent them to you, because we talked about this notion of celebrating and promoting who we are and loving our history and recognizing that yeah, you're, we'll call it, you're 70, I'm 66. We were that first gen who were pioneers in some ways, that paved ways for younger women, younger African-American, younger people to see different paths that weren't nearly as hard, but will be hard in different ways. But this piece is just beautiful and I wanted to read it.

Speaker 1 33:48

Remember you were born from resilience, holding on to a shared history and carrying songs sung across generations of kitchen tables and church pews. Remember that presence and power passed down from all those who have come before us, reminding us there is nothing we can't be, dream or do together, and I loved that. That's what those joyous moments look like for me, and a lot of them are silent. I don't run around saying life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Speaker 1 34:23

To quote Winston Hughes, you just do what you do, but I think it's in those quiet moments and you know, every now and then I'll give myself a pat on the back at 2.30 in the morning Well done. But the other thing I think that we bring because of this the unique nature of how we find ourselves in this place at this time is akin to what we get to do here around adaptation and resilience. I mean, you know, despite all odds and it's something I think also about the human spirit in general that we find ways to be joyful. I mean, it's hard to watch or see how Ramadan is being celebrated today, but it's being celebrated because it's part of who we are as a people is that we don't wallow in sorrow, and we certainly don't here. You know, you play the card, you're adult and you figure out how to adapt and how to rise up and how to move on and be resilient.

The Loneliness of Leadership

Speaker 1 35:22

Yeah, so I'm going gonna turn it back to you as we sort of wrap this thing up, because some of what's inherent in what I just talked about is this notion of loneliness and isolation. There are times where I've had to step in, step up and say tough things, not just sort of not talking about performance management, although that could be it, but just to speak a truth to power or into power. And so I think that in those moments of loneliness and I'd love for you to talk about it, and loneliness are just the quiet times, the isolation that we all have we do have the opportunity to do some real reflecting. And Maya Angelou said my mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.

Speaker 2 36:15

Absolutely. That's. My staff hears that all the time and I think there's another part that says and kindness that comes after that, you know. I think we also need to acknowledge those unseen leaders within Craig Hospital, within community, the women and the men who are doing the work every day.

Speaker 2 36:37

You know, they inspire me the most, whether it's feeding their families, working two jobs, whether it's organizing caregiving for others. You know there's so many myriads of ways that people are showing up for each other. But, as you mentioned, ramadan, and in these times, this season of grief and spring, of Passover, of Easter, of Ramadan, when I feel sometimes I don't know about you, but exhausted by the weight of the work that happens too, exhausted by the weight of it and questioning am I having the impact? Internally, externally, all of the above, all the people, all the folks all the things there's a both and to the loneliness.

Speaker 2 37:28

I am a flaming extrovert, right, if you're walking around this hospital. Right, you know chitty chatting. I don't know that I listen as much as I should because I'm like ooh, that made me think of an ooh in engaging with other people. But I've learned to seek more and more and more quiet time and to be more intentional about community and self-healing and grounding myself and where my energy goes. That's been a really important part, because sometimes you can actually be lonely in a crowd, even though everybody's talking to you all the time.

Speaker 2 38:17

Yes, you are speaking my language.

Speaker 2 38:19

That's right, you can be very lonely. There's the responsibility itself and those hard times. You and I both acknowledged anger is not our sweet spot. We come from a place of humanity and healing and an exchange of conversation and in that Maya Angelou kind of way. And so the loneliness for me. I do a dance class. It's just me and my instructor. I've done this for two and a half years. It's just us on the dance floor of La Rumba. It is cherished time. For me it is a very personal connection. It doesn't require any attachment on my part to technique. I'm not trying to do a showcase or compete. I just want to feel the music. We talk, we laugh. In that time it's very simple for me to get back in my movement. Like you and Art, I've always grown up being sort of the big awkward kid. I can play kickball like gangbusters. I've always grown up, you know, being sort of the big awkward kid. Like I can play kickball like gangbusters.

Speaker 1 39:47

I could play soccer.

Speaker 2 39:49

But any sort of gentle gracefulness has never been associated with me. For that hour a week I don't feel lonely. And then there's another small group that I'm a part of of BIPOC and gender expansive women, a small group that does a number of healing techniques, including movement and food and sound and a variety of other things.

Speaker 2 40:17

It's a deeply personal. Most of them don't even know what I do, right? I don't wear makeup. I don't wear makeup. I don't my clothes. I could have picked up the same sweats for three nights in a row and put them on and go there, and that's a huge relief for me as well it's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 40:38

It's like one of the antidotes to the isolation and loneliness is self nourishment, and self nourishment comes in the quiet times as well as in the very much the two of us extroverted ways that we both live our lives and have to, in some cases, live our lives. The final thing I want to just point out and then we'll wrap is I love that you said the unspoken leaders and I'd go so far as to say the unspoken heroes. I walk around this hospital. One of the things I do it's a crazy discipline but it is important to me is I actually write an anniversary note to every employee sometime during the month of their anniversary. And it's not just we have a little card we've made and it's got some words typed, but there's enough room that I fill it and some on these little postcards.

Speaker 1 41:27

It gives me the opportunity to see them, whether I have had, you know, super personal, up close connections to them as individuals. But I know their work and I think about how their work back to that tapestry that we're building, know their work and I think about how their work back to that tapestry that we're building, this grand tapestry that's been wrought over millennia, that I see how their work makes such a profound difference in the lives of those we serve and their colleagues and their team members, and that's, as far as I'm concerned, that's real leadership. It's not what I do, I'm overhead, I'm just overhead. It is they who are the people who I really sit in awe of, stand in awe of and, from a place of real humility, just love them, and they know I love them. That's what I say and I think that's another thing. That are those team members who we.

Speaker 2 42:19

That's the meaning of philanthropy is love of humankind.

Speaker 1 42:22

Love, I just love them.

Speaker 2 42:24

To see that employee to take that time. I believe and I don't know if it's true, but that we can begin to create ripples that can counter this period of regress I'm feeling in the world and so I just have a real appreciation I met with. There was a tragedy in my family not long ago and I met with someone who has provided some spiritual guidance to me, non-denominational and he said to me that one of the things and the repotting for me in my next phase is going to be this sort of introspective quiet.

Speaker 2 43:10

So, and to hold my hands open to receive the gift and stillness, and he actually quoted something that I think is from the Hebrew tradition that translates into stillness, translates into these holding hands, loosely so you can receive the gifts. So we've held on to a lot of things, right. I don't know about you, but we've held on to a lot of stuff and to now consider letting our hands be loose and receiving the gifts and then sharing the gifts. You know that adage about all things swinging back toward justice will prove true.

Speaker 1 43:52

What a wonderful way to end our time, lauren. Wow. I'm struck by a number of things that inform great cultures through the lens of servant leadership. The first is the diversity of it. There is no one way to do it. In fact, lately I've been saying about a few things. There may not be a ton of right ways to do a thing, but there are a lot of wrong ways to do it. But there are some themes in the right ways that then manifest and are played out in different ways.

Speaker 1 44:24

What I heard in Lauren's conversation and took away is again that concept of love love of the work, love of community, love of those we serve and, interestingly, love of self, which is one of those things that I don't think we pay enough attention to and really understand the impacts of not doing that caretaking in terms of how it then shows up in the workplace. The conversation about vulnerability I heard once that you know that's dancing as if no one's looking, which is a real wonderful skill for us, or trait for us or characteristic for us to bring into work, because it enables and allows others to do the same dang thing, and that's how we grow even stronger organizations. I loved the conversation about repotting and hearing a little bit about her journey, and it goes to show and reinforces that there isn't a correct and only one path to wherever you're going, and it could be a path that ascends, it could be a path that descends, it could be a path that is actually fairly straight or flat, I should say but nonetheless that each and every one of those experiences, you have the opportunity to grow new skills that allow you to land where you are at a given time. And yet there is this need to figure out and a desire and, I think, important requirement to figure out what really drives you, and for her, it was that love of community that has been the thread and the tie that bound, having the opportunity to talk about the unique experience of being Black African American, however you choose to define it same time and experience joy and pain and, through adversity, to adapt and to manifest resilience like nothing you've ever seen.

Speaker 1 46:32

And then, finally, the isolation and loneliness of leadership, that there's a way that that can be interpreted as sad or hard, but that it's also essential that we do have those quiet moments, and I do think that's something that happens as we get into I'm certainly feeling it in some ways the later years of our opportunities to serve is that it's real important to have that quiet, reflective time and in those moments to self-nourish in whatever way that needs to come up, and it's also should be something that is a wholesome discipline that, no matter your age or stage, that you make sure you got something that you can call your own, whether it's dancing or gardening or art or music or reading but that that is for you and you alone, because you come back to the work refreshed and renewed.

Speaker 1 47:20

I loved this notion of philanthropy as an innovation tool and that they can take great risks and, in that, are coming up with all sorts of innovative ways to approach some tough, tough problems that we're all dealing with. So, in any case, it was another really wonderful opportunity to sit down and have a great conversation with one of our community's amazing people she doesn't want me to call her a leader, so I won't Amazing people who are doing good work. I hope you took lots of notes because I sure felt like boy was I immersed in through story, lots of themes and opportunities to learn and grow, and so, to the extent that this is helpful to you, I thank you for joining us today. I look forward to the next opportunity for us to visit over this unstoppable at Craig. Thanks a lot, until next time.